We’ve all experienced or observed brown nosers in action. We may have different names for them, such as apple polishers, yes men or women, opportunists, schmoozers, suck-ups, teacher’s pets, book carriers, wannabes, butt kissers.  The American Heritage Dictionary offers another option:

Sycophant: A servile self-seeker who attempts to win favor by flattering influential people.

Regardless, I think we can agree that this type of behavior is nauseating. Over the years, I have observed a lot of professional brownnosers and have come to realize that the only difference between a brownnoser and a butt kisser is depth perception!

I can spot these sycophants a mile away. They characteristically:

• Suck up blatantly to their bosses and do anything to win a raise, promotion, or acceptance in a group.
• Agree with everything the boss says, often exclaiming “I agree!”, “Great idea!”, and “Bully!” or “Bravo!” when the boss is speaking.
• Do whatever the boss demands, no matter how outrageous, including buying his or her favorite caffeinated concoction on the way into the office.
• Wear clothing with logos of the boss’s alma mater on casual days.
• “Friend” the boss, the boss’s spouse, and the boss’s mother on Facebook.
• Create iPod playlists of the boss’s favorite music and then play them when the boss is around.
• Invite the boss and spouse to sit at their table at charitable events.
• Submit applications every year for the boss to be recognized for the “Best Boss” Award; and
• Create a constant stream of posts on Twitter of the “wise things” their boss says.

Maybe Me?
Everybody says they don’t like brownnosers, but often don’t realize when they are behaving like butt-kissers to their superiors. I’ve watched people who believe that knowledge (instead of competence) is power, so they do their best to get the inside scoop from the CEO and then violate confidences by sharing this information with others to get ahead. These people are the worst type of brownnosers often referred to as “frenemys”, since they want you to think they are your best friend, when in fact they are your worst enemy. These personalities are smooth internal politicians who rise to the top based on their butt-kissing ability, not for their real abilities or for their performance. They represent the quintessential Peter Principle, which states that “in a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to (their) level of incompetence”. These folks are eventually discovered and asked to leave.

Some butt kissers are motivated by fear of losing a job, status, or favor with superiors. They are not assertive enough to confront the boss or ask questions that may be perceived negatively. Instead they become apologists for the boss and his or her lack of performance. And when the board of directors wants someone’s head for the poor results, guess who’s going to be walking the unemployment line? Rather, have you ever considered that your superior wants to work with a motivated, engaged team that challenges conventional wisdom and the fashionable “idea of the moment”? Or that if you worked harder to be more effective, instead of just trying to be popular, your boss or board would view you as a more valuable resource and your job would be more secure?

Boss’ Favorites?
Also consider the boss who cultivates a culture of brown nosing and butt kissing by playing favorites. Every leader claims to despise apple polishers, yet many also respond favorably to the kissing-up behavior that they say offends them. If you are a boss who is motivated by the power you have to make people do things, you are going to hit the wall at 90 miles per hour without a seat belt.

Often, I have observed bosses who have molded an employee “in his or her image”. They’ve spent a lot of time with the employee, basking in his or her praise. Many bosses spend a substantial amount of their time dealing with underperformers, helping them to improve, and consequently shaping them in their own image. Then, when it’s time to promote someone, guess who gets the nod? But these protégés often are unequal to their new responsibilities.

So if you are a leader, don’t judge your employees by how much they appear to like you or have in common with you. Rather, evaluate their real contributions to the company and its customers. Don’t praise and promote only those who are your favorites. Be sure to give rewards to those who are excellent at doing their job for the right reasons. And if you are an employee working for a boss like this, it’s probably time to dust off your resume and find an organization that values you for your real talent, as opposed to your apple polishing abilities.

It’s easy to poke fun at brown nosers, but let’s be honest with ourselves: It’s an age-old trait because it can be effective. But if you want to work successfully with someone who has visibility and influence, know the line between being a positive team member and being a brownnoser. Too many people make a career out of trying to be liked instead of being effective.

So which one are you?